REQUIEM FOR A REPUBLICAN HACKER

*bush08 has joined
Why do you kick me? Answer!

We didn't kick you, you had a ping timeout.

What ping man? The timing of my PC is right! I even have DST! You banned me. Admit it, you son of a bitch.

(LOL) Shit you're stupid. DST...

Shut your mouth, we have DST! For two weeks already. When you start your PC there's a message from Windows that DST is applied.

You're a real computer expert.

Shut up or I hack you.

Ok, I'm quiet. Hope you don't show me how good a hacker you are.

Tell me your network number man, then you're dead.

127.0.0.1 and I'm waiting for your great attack.

In five minutes your hard drive is deleted.

Now I'm frightened.

Shut up. You'll be gone. I have a program where I enter your IP and you are dead. Say goodbye.

To whom?

To you man. Goodbye.
* bush08 quit (ping timeout)

Evidently he enters his own IP address in his mighty hack tool and crashes his own PC. But a good hacker never calls it a day, and two minutes later he returns.

* bush08 has joined
Dude, be happy my PC crashed. Otherwise you'd be gone.

Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1

You're so stupid man. Say goodbye.
* bush08 quit (ping timeout)

Would he manage, after two failures, to crash my PC? I waited 10 minutes until the next “attack”. Being a hacker who cracks whole data centers, he knows what the problem is.

* bush08 has joined
You son of a bitch. You have a firewall.

No shit.

Your firewall directed my turn off signal back to me.

My firewall sent your turn off hack back at your own firewall?? Damn, my firewall really kicks ass!

Be a man, turn that shit off.

If you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall. Even I can do that.

Oh, I'll hack you, but you're hiding behind a firewall like a girl. Turn the firewall off. Then I send you a virus.

Why should I turn it off? You turn it off.

I don't want to hack like this if you're going to hide like a girl behind a firewall.

Do you know the definition of hacking? If I turn off my firewall, that basically invites you in doesn't it? I wouldn't exactly call that "hacking", sparky.

Turn off your shit wall! Then my virus destroys your PC man. My grandmother surfs with a firewall.

I'm still waiting for your attack, sonny.

Ha ha you idiot, I've got it. Your G drive is deleted and there's nothing you can do.

Yes, there's nothing I can do.

And in twenty seconds your F drive is gone.

Holy crap, my G and F drives are gone! Or is it that I didn't have G and F drives to begin with?

Man you are so stupid. Never give your IP on the internet. 70% left on your F drive.

Should I tell him he's not attacking MY computer?

Ha ha loser! 20% remaining of your F drive!. Loser! Ha ha ha!
* bush08 quit (ping timeout)

Good night Gracey. He times out for good after wiping his own hard drives. Or did my firewall do it?

BASED UPON ACTUAL IRC CHANNEL CHATTER
(link removed since original posting)
Edited for brevity, rewritten for clarity, and names changed to enhance the likely.