Friday, February 02, 2007


Just when things are looking bleak in your world, opportunity knocks like a cheap Japanese four-banger packed with sumo.

As I'm pondering which treasure within the Fleece compound to barter away for new wheels (damned car-jacking junkie squirrels), along comes a money shot to the arm through the old 56k morse modem.

It's a welcome heads up from my old Chilean bunker mate J. Bob "Oil Can" Harry at the American Enterprise Institute, an old-school conservative drunk tank dedicated to preserving and strengthening the foundations of kicking left wing ass. J. Bob tips me that they're offering ten grand to anyone remotely connected with science or economics to undermine a major climate change report published today.

Now I've used enough science to wreck enough economies to declare this one "manna from heaven". Well, maybe a little lower. Easy green none the less.

How do I smear the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change? Let me count the ways. First, the IPCC... IPCC? Yes, I see see you pee. The front of your pants are stained yellower than a jaundiced commie coward hiding in the dandelions. What are you so scared about, ladies? Own some beach front?

See, it's just that easy.

Oh the ice melting irony. That an ExxonMobil-funded shill mill like the AEI is gonna cut me a check to buy another vehicle thirsty for sweet, bubbling dino-juice. Ha koona ma kaka. It's the circle of strife.

Get in on it, Fleecekiteers. There's plenty of ink spilling polar bear lovers out there begging for a totalitarian smackdown. It's easier than driving flatbed through Fallujah. And as per the norm, big bonus if you can pull Al Gore down into the muck.

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