DON'T TASE ME JEEBUS!

After spending 9,000 years in a dormant state, Americans are finally waking up to the injustices that their own government...

Hold on a sec.

After spending 9,000 years in a dormant state, the Chaiten Volcano in southern Chile finally erupted last week with a long overdue release of lava and ash plumes reaching across South America.

Even with ash clouds 17 kilometres high merging with lightning-infested thunderstorms, legions of normally awe struck bystanders and fleeing villagers have joined together to declare "FAKE!"

If a show like this doesn't fill seats - and pants - what does that say about today's reality goer?

"It's just hard luck this hellish chasm opened against Iron Man" declared an unnamed reality insider. "As well, the fallout from Grand Theft Auto IV is tough to navigate. Never mind the 9,000 years thing. People just lose interest."

Tormenta eléctrica en erupción del volcán Chaitén