ONE OF OUR BILLIONAIRES IS MISSING

Why must the financially challenged always get in the way of the incredibly wealthy?

The search for stinking rich adventurer Steve Fossett's downed experimental aircraft has only turned up wreckage of planes belonging to missing fliers with far less impressive bank accounts.

The fabulously, stupidly rich Fossett had survived a 30,000 foot plunge in a crippled hot air balloon, icy temperatures in a swim across the English Channel and hours alone in shark infested waters. Plus he was filthy, dirty, nasty rich.

And so by rights of being able to farmer-hankey a nasty nose-full of nasal grease into a 10 gallon bucket tight with thousand dollar bills, Steve Fossett and his wreckage demand swift recovery. Instead searchers turn up what's left of some businessman who Tanquerayed it into a mountain flying to Reno during a shitty 1964 divorce.

Searchers believe they've found a half dozen more martini fly-boys scattered out there, no doubt mortgage payers all. An estimated two-hundred more of these cashless crashers litter the Sierra Nevada. None combined earn a line jump past Steve Fossett's billions. The man could pay for over a month of Iraq war, body armour included.

The unbridled audacity. Imagine a young, beautiful girl with straight teeth and curly, blonde hair gets kidnapped. An outraged community bands together and sweeps the neighbourhood, but rescues only a handful of homely and overweight girls with braces and bad skin.

You think Larry King gives a suspender snap? If you ain't got the golden wings then stay out of the golden eagles' flight corridor.

CNN Search for Fossett

LIKE A REICH

German troops pose with a General Motors / Opel "Blitz",
the three-ton truck that nearly saved Nazi Europe.

This fall the 15+ hour "The War" airs on PBS. No doubt many an untold story will finally be told from the war after the war to end all wars. It's big and expensive, just like real war. It's also underwritten by General Motors. Again, just like real war.

In 1938 James D. Mooney, GM's head of overseas operations, received the German Eagle with Cross, the highest medal Hitler awarded to foreign commercial collaborators and supporters. Why? Because of a little truck that could... help subjugate Europe.

GM's European subsidiary, Opel, provided Hitler's war machine with a fantastically sturdy three-ton truck, the Opel "Blitz". As in "Blitzkrieg".

Der Fuhrer thought der Blitz was one terrific truck. He drove it all over Europe. Off-roading through Poland, France, Russia... it wasn't Ford tough, but it was Nazi tough. Sadly, at the end of World War 2 most of the Opel plants in Germany were destroyed by allied bombing. Luckily for inconvenienced GM shareholders the company was paid $32 million by the U.S. government for damages sustained to its German plants.

Haliburton, kneel to thy master.

WASHINGTON POST FORD & GM ALLEGED NAZI COLLABORATION
JERUSALEM POST HITLER'S CARMAKER
SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE NAZIS RODE TO WAR ON GM WHEELS

BUSH BOMBS (at) SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE

King Leopold, er, President Bush today praised Austrian troops in Iraq during a keynote speech to OPEC nations in Sydney, Australia.

And when the day comes that Austria deploys soldiers to the Gulf and the US and Australia join OPEC this could go down as a pretty good speech.

Until then chalk up another verbal cluster fuck by the Maestro of Malaprop. Bush was followed by Aussie PM John Howard after emcee Paul Hogan declared "...that's not a statesman. Now THIS is a statesman."

To add near injury to insult, W almost fell into the orchestra pit leaving the lectern. The world was saved the horrific imagery of the Commander in Grief's legs flailing from within a giant Tex Avery tuba. Now that would have been embarrassing.

YAHOO NEWS: Bush has bad day at Sydney Opera House