IT'S STILL A WONDERFUL IDEA

Alright, so this is the same pic I ran last year. After sitting through countless seasons of Wahoo Doray, I have seen the light. My plan is to cash in like Schultz and the Seussman. Sit back and watch the resids roll in until I'm a shell of my former creative self, out of ideas and void of any personal integrity. Workin' on it.

I'll run this pic well into GeeDub's fourth, fifth, eleventh term in office. I'll run it until a doddering old man with wings drops from the sky and flings the corrupt bastard off a snowy bridge into the icy karmic current.

Sadly the Bedford Falls bridge has a better chance of collapsing from neglect than it does becoming a new platform for American justice. Bushie Banditos have ransacked the treasury so there's not even money left for gaffer tape. Word is of a plan to borrow more money from China to hire Mexicans to hold up America's bridges bare handed. These days it sound plausible, doesn't it? Good luck finding Americans willing to hold up their own bridges.

BLAST FROM CHRISTMAS PAST

Hey China! Who's the bloated lackey of the capitalist toy mongers now?

Back then it was "eat death, Santa". Now it's "eat hot lead paint, kids!"

COVER: NATIONAL LAMPOON DECEMBER 1970

VANCOUVER UNVEILS 2010 OLYMPIC MASCOTS